so Mr grasshopper, whats your story?

there was once a grasshopper named bob.

now bob had is ways with the world. he would do what he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted. all things that he wanted he did and all things he did, everyone wanted. now bob keeps doing things, good things bad things, new things, but all different kinds of thing. hopping away to glory. eating what he finds when he finds, no saving for rainy days no burrowing thru the grounds, no making homes or nests. just living it up each day, grasshopper style.

same time there are these ants. millions of them. running around toe to tail, one after the other , in sync, in style all with the same dreams of one day being the queen bee, sitting and eating, hatching eggs at the heart of the hive. the good life they said. with the big rooms, the sweet honey, the friends, the admirers, the jealous onlookers the evil empires. everything under the sun and behind it to make us happy.

but every once in a while the ant would glance a shady glance at the grasshopper. dancing till his shoes hurt, doing his thing, the grasshopper thing. being himself smiling dancing making merry, doing the joke and poke thing. everyone watches him and so does the ant. part in awe part in envy and part wondering why hes not that guy? why is he doing this in the line on the floor thing? why cant he just leave this all and take up the violin and play the strings to oblivion. he knows he will be happy that way. it may not be all honey and empires, but he would do it for the happiness and stories. the guns and glories. the small town man with the big time dreams, making it in the big city without losing his chee.

but then he marches on. he get back in line, dons the helmet that his predecessors did and soldiers on. hoping, nay knowing one day, he makes it to the top, get the girl, the house, the sweet nectar of gods and all that. and resolving under his breath that one day he shall meet the grasshopper, watch him play the songs do the dance from high up above in his silvery throne. and tell the next generation as to how the grasshopper stayed where he was, while he moved up and moved on! the grasshopper froze each winter, the ant stayed warm, moral of the story work for your happiness nothing is for free. the end.

but no one asked the grasshopper, sir, what is your version of life? are you happy making merry or is there something to look forward to? dont you want to do the queen grasshopper thing? the life of luxury, shiny objects and fresh cut leaves? dont you want to be at that place? be that guy who everyone wants to be, who everyone either envies, or talks about? i think if someone did ask him these question he would reply in the most lost voice of all...

hell yeah. i want to be that guy that you all want to be. but i want to be happy first. and i cant make up my mind what i want to do about either of them? i cant commit to a life on the path, i think its just too slow, and too tedious. i want to do what i want to do and i want to have what everyone wants to have and i want it all now. i cant wait till the end of my life to do what i want, wait for my parents to pass on the mantle to me, wait for my kids to take on the mantle, wait for the birds to leave home the bees to go out hunting before i go out and play the fiddle the violin and become the traveling one piece band i want to become. but what can i do? can i stop being me for an indefinite period of time and then keep who i want to be for later? i dont think i can refrigerate desires?

we are all born at the crossroads. the fiddle in one hand, and a shovel in the other. you can find your time to do both, or bury one with the other. most make their choices early on, some have them made for them. i am still staring at both my hands, trying one, and then trying the next... still at that cross roads staring into what lies ahead. i am still the hopper i was the day i hopped in. and guess what.. i think i shall be happy hopping for a while.... and not cos i am happy doing it, no, and definitely not because i want to do it all my life, hell no. i will be hopping because that is all i know how to do, and if i stand in one place long enough, may be i would miss out on all the other places i want to be in. so there's this and thats that. now can i go please? i see something new i havent done before and i want to get done with it.