y r v the way v r?

how is it that one city in a country is more intimate and less connected and another one less than a couple of hundred miles away seems less intimate and more connected. how is it that certain cities appear really distant and impersonal at a level have well established networks that make communication and information exchange easy. where as certain cities are very intimate in their scale and structure but very disconnected in existence? is it something to with the people who live there? or the development of the city from its past to now.....
lets map the growth of these cities. bangalore came up in the last 10 years or less from a sleepy small town to this monstrous urban sprawl with an unprecedented growth rate. a major chunk of the cities population is immigrant worker in the service and IT and most of these here are between the age group of 25-40. it is a young city with immense infrastructure at their disposal but with limited land available. the public events are far and few the social instances are limited to a few concerts an performances every month. no public gathering space in the city that is functioning to its desired capacity. even nature is against it. no hills around it no beaches where people could gather around and engage in any sort of community activity. prices are high and opportunities aplenty. but people on person seem disconnected. they move about without even a flick of recognition. boundaries drawn firmly around houses, curfews strict. the sleeps early rises late. i have friends here who have a 8 pm deadline (just to give you a yard stick: back home in pune i would leave home at 10 in the night to meet friends and hang around doing nothing till 2-3 in the morning without hinter and geographically and historically we share similarities with bangalore.)
but everyone here knows everyone. they connect on the internet. they still stay in touch through non-intimate modes of communication. voice/text/electronic any means necessary. they interact, they communicate. you do something on this end of the city and people in the other end of the city know of it. it is transparent beyond my understanding. you start something today, an by the afternoon everyone knows.

chennai has had a more stable growth rate. its still spawned from a capital city before independence, the struggle for independence has left more violent scars on the city, its has a smaller immigrant population in comparison to city one but has a larger industrial growth. education is more of a business here in comparison to the earlier city under question. there are music festivals, the corner teashops the small businesses with the local grocery store selling everything form greens to phone recharges. the coast line is always crowded with people gathering there for food, or fun. the city sleps late and rises early. but news travels slow. for any one to establish them selves as a formidable entity it can take years of work. you could swindle half the town and people wouldn't take notice unless you have gone through a considerable chunk of the population.

why the contrast? what keeps the connection distant. why does new travel faster in one place and in the other it just doesn't move? both cities have seen a boom in the last few years and both have been influenced by the dot come boom and bust. what is it about people that makes them connect and disconnect?
the possible answers are aplenty. literacy, exploration of communication avenues. the number of locals that move to the west, immigrant population, city size, general social structure,
damned if i knew.