we were exploring the reason for how the success rate of arranged marriages has reduced drastically in comparison to earlier generations. Divorce was a taboo word till very very recent times. incompatibility was never a consideration. the initial system was, everyone lived together no individual egos to play with no personal space. packed like sardines in a can stacked for transport. there was nothing called compatibility. the purpose of marriage was procreation and supporting the larger family. marriages was for progression of the family size. you have 3 daughters and 4 sons, i have 3 daughters lets talk business .. that kinda thing , all match making happened through word of mouth. there were these matchmakers who came later into the picture but even they were only well connected individuals who know people and so as long as the families were compatible it all worked out for everybody. then we exploded as a population, you couldn't have individuals that well connected families became smaller the largest having 3 kids.. individuality bred like crazy.. they still thought an arranged marriage would work if we got them on a common platform and this led to the advent of the matrimony sites. single male in bangalore seeks girl :: single female in delhi seeks male.. bingo! no past no present accounted for .. marry and merry. but the idea is bombing. individuals are literally jump into the sack with no prior knowledge of each other. and then what? the girl has to live with the guys appetite for death metal and he has to put up with her addiction of mush.. and sometimes it could be worse if the girl has a thing for death metal and the guy for mush!!!! i know guys who still cant decide with their girlfriends of 3 years if she's the one, and here we are expecting people to live off the rest o their lives with someone who you barely know for the last month and a half and is putting his best foot forth. kinda difficult to envision success. i think we are making the transition from the society moving from a unit driven individual to a individual as a unit.
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Though I hate Ayn Rand the 'Bitch' I am writing a small piece from one of her books ,which fits the thoughts you are trying to convey...
“ I know not if this earth on which I stand is the core of the universe or if it is but a speck of dust lost in eternity. I know what happiness is possible to me on earth.And my happiness needs no higher aim to vindicate it. My happiness is not the means to any end. It is the end. It is its own goal. It is its own purpose.
“ Neither am I the mean to any end others may wish to acomplish. I am not a tool for their use. I am not a servant of their needs. I am not bandage for their wounds. I am not a sacrifice on their altars …
“ I own nothing to my brothers , nor do I gather debts from them. I ask none to live for me, nor do I live for any others.I covet no man’s soul, nors is my soul theirs to covet.”
“ I am neither foe nor friend to my brothers,but such as each of them shall deserve of me.And to earn my love,my brothers must do more than to have been born.I do not grant my love without reason, nor to any chance passer-by who may wish to claim it.I honor men with my love. But honor is a thing to be earned.“
“I shall choose friends among men , but neither slaves nor masters. And I shall choose only such as please me , and them I shall love and respect , but neither command nor obey.And we shall join our hands when we wish , or walk alone when we so desire.For in the temple of his spirit , each man is alone .Let each man keep his temple untouched and undefiled.Then let him join hands with others if he wishes, but only beyond his holy threshold.”
dude!
she couldnt have written it better!
and i dont think i completely disagree wit her man!
i mean she is an extremist but then who isnt these days?
karthik.. a beautiful piece of writing... i was especially able to relate to it cos i went thru this arranged marriage crap a few months ago, forced upon me by my gramps and relatives.. thankfully i was able to break the engagement. My relatives r stil going around looking for another guy !
Secondly, i like Ayn Rand, i like the way she writes..
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